I realized that love just isn't enough. In the words of Jazmine Sullivan "Just 'cause I love you, and you love me it doesn't mean that we'll ever be. "
Oh yea, I started this therapy session known as a blog.
I liteweight came to terms with my sexuality... which is against what I believe in because to me, sexuality is on a continuum. I love men. I love women. Confused? No. Greedy. Yes. LOL....
In doing so, I realized I live in a world that tells me that something as natural as breathing to me is wrong. At times laying next to, loving, kissing and holding a woman is my home. Will I do what the world wants me to do and be unhappy? Or be with who I love and still maybe be unhappy?
I fell in love with a very smart, beautiful, sexy woman who I can't say "No" to.
I realized that she's not that into me.
I learned many things about myself. Silence makes me very anxious. I love music and in 2010, I wanna start playing again. Probably taking my keyboard to school with me <33.. I also realized that if I'm not sexually attracted and liteweight infatuated with someone? I can't get with 'em... no matter how well they treat me.
In 2009, (just saying it again for emphasis)
I dated (and still am with) a white boy. I like him a lot. He's taking me to the Derby!
I realized what I can tolerate and what I can't. I'm learning to be more open with my feelings. Its hard. I still don't know how to say some stuff. But 2009 was the end of me being disrespected without consequences.
My locs turned a year old.. They're growing faster than ever. I freaking love 'em.
I had the worse hangover of my life. Resulting in me blowing chunks in Sonic's drive-thru... Resulting in me being very careful about my drinking habits. I've learned to get loose and not be hungover the next day. I don't enjoy those at all.
I neglected writing creatively .. and I'm paying the consequences. I can't get a poem out to save my life.
I lost 20 pounds.. I told yall I didn't wanna be a DD cup.. I wasn't playing.
I fell in love with Twitter...
Ok.. I'll end on a happy note.. this seems emo..
I can't believe I'm about to tell yall this...
In 2009, I had my first two 3somes. hehehehehehe...
Alright. I might video blog tomorrow on the way to the club with friends. I've always wanted to see myself drunk. I love yall... Keep reading in 2010, I promise, it'll be better!
Songs for the New Year:. "That was Then" Anthony Brown.. "Moving Forward" Hezzy Walker