formspring.me

If you could be white, would you?

Hell No, white people are horribly unaware. There's a swag and intelligence I have because I'm a black woman. Thanks.

Ask me anything

Detached.

Whats up yall?

I did a vlog, but I didn't like it.. so, I ain't postin' it.. I can't find my cord either..

So.. I'm trying to figure out when I got like this. Yall, I'm so emotionally detached from everyone. Like, she was on the fone crying last night cause i'm such an asshole and I really just didn't care. I don't want to be like that. Seems, inhumane... But its like I have no control over it. I've never been good at faking.. and at times when I get concerned about people maybe I have been faking in the past. For whatever reason, I can't do it anymore.

I mean, I'd say in the past year my emotional scale has changed. For example, when I went to see Seven Pounds with my girls they were boo-hooing and I was just sitting there.. Like "Ah well.." I mean, I cry in EVERY Will Smith movie... LOL... Its like there are moments when I know in the past I'd cry but the tears won't come, the emotion is absent.

Emotion isn't completely absent.. just the ones I'm known for feeling I suppose.. Like sympathy... I have none, for anyone. For one, I don't trust anyone to keep it 100 with me.... Idk why, yall. Lately people stay mad at me. They say I'm selfish.... Its draining when everyone's mad at you and you can't do anything about it. I don't wanna be withdrawn from society in general but lately, its easier to just be alone.

I know I have a wall up. Yesterday ex-husband said "...you want to care. But you stop to protect yourself" He hit the nail on the head. I've cared before and frankly it got stepped on. #in2010, I can't be worried about it. Part of me wants to change, part of me enjoys not being attached to anyone. Its easier not to be at risk for pain...

I realize I might be talking in circles, but hey... It's where I'm at now...

Song of the Day:. "I'd rather go blind" Etta Fitzgerald.

-C

Less than sympathetic.

Whats up, yall? I feel like I haven't blogged in a minute, was going to do a video blog but I moved and can't find my camera. Its around here somewhere. Oh, I'm happy with my new living situation. I have my own room, thank God... Idk if I told yall why I was moving, lets just say my roommate and I's lifestyles couldn't exsist in the same space ;)

Anywho, I deal with women a lot... which shouldn't be news to you if you read this blog.. LOL.. but I think  a mistake a lot of us (women) make is putting someone on a pedastal and making them responsible for our feelings. I know I've done it, ended up getting very hurt. I'm not sure how to take someone's control away.. I just know it has to happen or you'll STAY upset. I'm realizing the other end of this because the shoe's on the other foot. This young lady I was dealing with blames me for EVERYTHING. I mean, shit that problably happened before I was even born.. gets mad when I need to get off the fone to go take a shit.. I mean arguments every other day.. In #2010, I can't be worried about it.. So I had to end the romantic part of our relationship. I have feelings for her... but whats love got ta do, got ta do with it? If we're upset with each other every other day? I mean, I feel like it just takes so much outta me. I don't like to argue, because I never lose. Just a fact. Makes people upset.

I feel bad for not being able to be more sympathetic. Point is, I have goals.. I can't emotions get in the way.. I've done that in past semesters. I'm paying for it now. I just want non-confrontational friendships... and as far as dating goes? If we argue more than we have sex? Not happening.. Only one person has been able to give me that... and surprise.. It's a man...

#Inothernews. I'm working on a political campaign and I'm SUPER STOKED about it!!!!!

Well, its my good friend, "Slim"'s birthday. I love her so.. Going to clean the room a bit before I go to the movies with her..

Song of the Day:. "Make Her Say" Kid Cudi

-C

formspring.me

why are you so damn amazing?

Whenever anyone asks me anything about myself, I always tell them to look at my maker. I'm an ordinary girl with an extraordinary God who's gracious enuff to let His self shine through me :)

U need a nigga in ya life

LOL, I have one... more than one, I'm good. Thanks.

where do you like being kissed?

My lips, if you want a more detailed answer, you have to ask personally. LOL

Ask me anything

formspring.me

do you have feelings for anyone at this present moment & if not do you think i could have a chance with you? i could be your dreamgirl...

Honestly, I do have feelings for 2 very special women. Don't know if it'll work out. I'm open. What makes you think you'd be my dreamgirl?

Ask me anything

Selfish

Hey yall, its been a rough couple of days. To make a long story short, my roommate and I dont see eye to eye.. So I'm moving out. #In2010, I can't be worried about it. She's mad. But she doesn't want to be respectful so I must leave before I go postal... and thats exactly what I told the housing people. They drew me up a new lease with a quickness.

They tell me I'm selfish. Ok.. so actually one female tells me I am. I honestly, dont see how I am. I mean, I'm not the nicest person in the world and if I'm not interested, I won't fake it. But how selfish am I when you're the one who wants all of my attention? I for one think THAT's pretty selfish. Nevermind the fact that I had a hard day too.. Just sit and listen to my problems... Naw bruh.. I feel like we all rely on each other too much. I just be wanting to tell people to pray about it. Its what I do.. and it works out fine. Of course I talk to who I talk to... but I don't wanna be that guy who's name pops up on your fone and you dont answer cause you know its about to be an episode of the young and the restless.

Call me crazy but I just want to be able to enjoy someone sometimes without hearing about their problems. I rarely get to do that with said person. I do love her, but she doesn't appreciate it. So I'm done... part of me hates to be that way, but part of me is excited at the lower levels of stress to come because she's no longer a priority.

Harsh.. Yea. I know. AH WELL.

Ok, I must finish this laundry. You might see random questions popping up. Its via formspring.me. Feel free to ask what you want. formspring.me/collegekidd

-C

formspring.me

what would be your ideal first date?

Lets see. I don't like traditional shit. So anything but a dinner and a movie. Maybe an art gallery or going to a poetry slam.. you know grown stuff like that.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Describe your perfect husband

A man thats has as much swag as my dad. Who loves his mother, is very chivalrous and passionate. Someone who enjoys the finer things in life and isn't afraid to tell me to shut the hell up.

Ask me anything

a bit disturbed. and busy.

Evening loves.

This morning when I rose, yea... LOL.. just playing.. I was watching CNN and it was showing a bunch of white people getting of a plane in Pennsylvania carrying their black babies. The children were Haitian refugees and while I don't want to trun this tradgedy into a political/racial issue, it is. It disturbs me to see that adopting black children is becoming a trend. What if I adopted a swede child? Yall'd be mad as hell, but it still wouldn't be the same because of the history of America. I'm sorry, it reminds me of slavery. I wasn't there, but I can't get that image out of my head. I'm glad the children have a home tho, and I wish more of my people had the resources and money to adopt. We can't adopt, we do a good job of having plenty of our own. LOL

[[http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/20/world/americas/20orphans.html?src=twt&twt=nytimes]]

Story is in the link above.

Anywho, I been feelin' inspired lately. I had to look up some back LGBT figures for a black history project we're doing this month. I hope a young kidd is looking ME up one day ;) I want to do big thangs, yall.

I'm goint to the Creating Change Conference in Dallas in two weeks. Any of my readers going?! I can't wait! I'm super pumped! I can't wait to learn and network.. but I'm tryna get me a couple of girlfriends and boyfriends too..  OK, just joking. ;)

Alrighty, I'm realizing this semester my Tuesday's gonna be madd busy! But its all good, I get thangs done.

I'm starting to learn what L O V E is... <3

Song of the Day:. "Newness" Musiq Soulchild

She says "There's never a dull moment with Carrie __________"

-C

Let it be broke...

'Round a year later? I'm starting to realize how important this blog is to me. I'm not good at expressing my feelings and I don't really have the desire to directly, but I recognize that the things you feel need to fall on someone's ears. This blog lets me do that. I have plenty of friends who care, and if I could just sit down and let 'em know that I was super hurt, angry or happy about something, I would. (I do sometimes, but its hard) Also, I want to use my experiences so someone can relate and feel empowered through something we share.. A laugh or two ain't so bad either. They tell me I'm funny.. I don't see it.. 

Speaking of a laugh... There's this TORE UP girl who's been telling people I have a crush on her. Now, we went to highschool-hell together and she ain't pursuing higher education so there's only so much she can do to my good name and reputation while i'm 70 miles up sixty-fo.. But I told yall, #in2010, I wasn't going to let things slide.... 

So my homie texted me yesterday and said she had yapped it to her, and I told her something along the lines of, "Could you please top telling people I have a crush on you? I don't. AT ALL. Please act like you graduated from highschool and don't still attend. Thanks."

Yall, its just frustrating because... This ho is NOT cute... call me shallow if you want, but take a look at everyone male and female I've messed with. *snap* DYMES! Second, she's not smart or funny or any other desirable personality characteristic so who the hell I look like being even a little attracted to her? Two, I'm not eight so I don't have crushes on people, I'm attracted or not concerned.. Puh-lease. I should show yall a pic of this whore.. 

Moving on, I was watching Kingdom Come the other week and LL's character said, "Baby, its broke, let it be broke for awhile. Don't try to fix it"... It stuck with me... At the moment, I'm feeling some type of hurt about a few things.. but.. I feel that dwelling in the hurt is really humbling. I'm learning about who I really am. Honestly? I'm pretty damn strong, i've grown up. Couple of years, hell couple of months ago if I was feeling like I am now? I'd cry till I was dry. But now? It's easier to deal with. He hasn't taken away the pain per se, but He's made it easier to deal with. And its funny cause that's exactly what the sermon was about today. 

He might not move the mountain, but He will give you watcha need to climb it. Climbing the rough side of the mountain isn't so bad, cause if I was climbing a smooth mountain, I'd have nothing to hold on to. MESSAGE! Where do I get this stuff FROM!?

Not that I called someone a whore AND preached to yall in the same entry. Killing two birds with one stone? #dontjudge. 

Music is powerful, yall. This Beyonce track "Poison"?! Yo! There are songs that you hear dem words and have to look around and make sure said artist isn't following you around writing about ya LIFE, yo! Music helps me sit in my sadness without being suicidal... lol. 

Alright, let me wrap this up and get some sleep since I ain't had nern in 24+. Gotta first give thanks for my friends. I had a great weekend (Thursday-Sunday!) with yall. Hooka, Booze, other thangs.. ;) Love yall sooooooo much. 

Sending some special love to two of my friends who feel kinna hurt, "Vogue" and "Cheeks"... Um, not to brag, but I'm one of the best lovers in the world... and you're loved with some warm yummy shit if I got you! In the words of the great, "Don't worry.. bout a thang.. cause every little thing.. is gonna be alright.."

Song of the Day:. "This to Shall Pass" India. Arie

-C 

An interesting latenight convo.

Top of the evening to you all... 

Lemme tell yall some interesting shit that happened to me this early morning. Well, I gotta back up. A couple of weeks ago an attractive older woman requests me on facebook. Now, my rule is as long as we have friends in common, and you're cute, I'll accept you. (Shallow? A little. Judge me if you want.) She's nice looking and our only friend in common is my pops. So, I figure this is one of his women. For the life of me, I can't understand why my pop's girlfriends try to get in good with me. They all tell me he talks about me alot and yadda yadda... 

Anywho, my pops e-mails me and asks me whats up with me and ole girl that requested me. I say "I accepted her cause she said you were a great guy. Who is she?" In a nutshell, he said "She's an ex girlfriend, and an ex friend and she's meddling.."

Scandalous! So I really get interested now. Long story short, I see some pictures of her and my pops on her page and I saw her online last night 'round 2am. So my ignant ass fb chats her and says "So you mad at my dad?"

We proceed to have a very interesting conversation. I realized a couple of things. This woman diggs my dad... and I understand why, but at the same time. If he wasn't my pops, I'd tell her to do better. I wish I could've defended my dad to her, but dude is well.. like me.. in her words "He likes to keep the company of lots of women.." I laughed super loud when she said that. We had a nice talk. She made me realize how much my dad wants me to call him. I told her I'd do better. I was mad at my dad for awhile, but its in the past. I'm grown, and I need his money. Just keeping it real ;)

She also told me that I express myself like him, that I'm very cut and dry. Never realized I got it from him. I wish a few very important women that I love could meet my dad, they'd understand. But then again... Maybe their opinions aren't as important anymore... 

There's no man in this world I love like my deddy.. and I won't be niiave and say that he's not part of the reason I date, love and fuck women. But in my wildest dreams? I'd be wife to a man just like him.... I'd have 3 boys and a girl with his smile and my eyes.. and I'd drive a mercedes SUV... 

Yall like my "Up in the Air" fantasy? LOL.. 

Unfortunately, I don't believe in fairy tales, Santa, The Tooth Fairy or Nicki Minaj. I do believe I'll find happiness and good sex tho :)

My mother says every guy I date looks just like my pops... I'm not sure about the women I date. I think they have psycho in common? ha! Yea, I know about 5+ women I've been with read this blog.. and I'm talking about all of you. 

Alright, I need to get dressed. Stepping out with no plan. Mischief. 

Song of the Day:. "Be OK" Chrisette Michelle

-C 

"Can't Be Worried About It"

Hey yall. Last night at the last minute I decided to go out. I had a BLAST. This morning I was a bit hungover. The room was spinning and my stomach was NOT happy. But I had it taken care of by time for my 11am class. A nigga was liteweight dehydrated cause my hands were shaking. Aaahh yes.. Good times. I have pictures. I might share.

Anywho, I came to write because I was SUPER offended today. I had to go to a meeting that I REALLY didn't wanna go to. For one, I was tired and recovering... two, I'm tired of all these meetings niggas have where we talk about the SAME shit and nothing gets done. Call me crazy.. I like progress. I really want to be involved on campus, yall. But I'm fed up with these organizations i'm a part of that gets nothing done. I'm really contemplating not being a part of them in the future.

You ever meet someone who you wouldn't know was stupid until they opened their mouth? This guy... yall.. he just talks and is very opinionated but there's no KNOWLEDGE behind his opinions or views.. which is fine because he's young but that means he just needs to shut up... and when he says stuff, I don't feel the need to argue with him because he's not my intellecutal equal so there's really nothing he can say to me... In reference to the bible he said..

"It's just a book, and people are way too sensitive about it..."

Now, I've always believed that its wrong to talk sideways about someone's beliefs in mixed company.. and even worse to be disrespectful about something thats a big deal to someone. I believe that Mary was JUST the woman that God used to mother Christ in His human form. I also believe that Mohammed was a false prophet and Allah is no one to me. But everyone doesn't believe that. Catholics, Muslims and Protestants have to share this world so why not be respectful? It's not cool for Beyonce to get naked and sing Ave Maria.. and its not cool to call the bible a 'book' when there are people who live their lives based on its teachings.

I feel that lately people want me to be ok with disrespect and I'm not. I won't be. Today I didn't say anything to him and I'm liteweight disappointed in myself. But then again, I believe in the truth.. and its the truth no matter what he has to say about it or if I argue right?

The fact that I was tired and hungover didn't help either. But I can't blame it on that. What he said was not cool AT ALL.. and my friend begged me with her eyes not to say anything so I didn't. I told her it wasn't going to happen again though.

So, I got hungry and nauseous and I left the meeting early. Once I'm done? I'm done. Thats the new theme for the 2010.. "Can't be worried about it"... 2009's theme was "Can I live?!" and I'm learning to live. I'm becoming emotionally unavailable and I'm ok with it. My heart beats on the left, so I'mma think right.

Song of the Day:. "Adam Lives in Theory" -Lauryn Hill.

-C

#Praying4Haiti..

My heart goes out to all my Haitian brothers and sisters. I'm just going to post some websites to show where you can donate money. Back to my regularly scheduled programming tomorrow...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/12/haiti-earthquake-relief-h_n_421014.html

That page has all the places you can help. The bible says don't just pray, help if you have the resources. In the past, we've treated the Haitians like lepers. Lets make it right yall.

-C

I get angry.

Whats up, yall?!

I haven't wrote in a minute. A nigga has been liteweight angry because of those I live with among other things. Yall, when I tell yall I have anger problems, that thang is for real. People don't believe me cause on the regular I'm particulalry laid back and nice... But when I get angry? It gets ugly. Luckily on Saturday morning when I got good and angry I was physically alone. I won't go into details but trust, I'm looking to move.... not to a diff dorm.. just my own room. Lawdamercy. I'm so use to peace in my space. I'm not willing to sacrifice that.

Yall, I was so mad.. I did something I NEVER do.. I turned my phone off! A good 4 hours. I know my people was like where's this nigga at? And my girl? She was like "so I get kicked straight to voicemail now?".... Yea.. Shoutouts to "Hi-Def" stays mad at me... #Shout-outs to my two very good friends who made sure I was iight. They're angels, I tell ya. God will make the LAST person you expect to send you a text and make sure you good. If I was capable of emotions at this point in my life, my heart would be warm for yall. <3

But yea.. I'm good now. Had a high time at Church yesterday. I prayed super hard that God would have SOMETHING for me when I went that morning because of my Saturday.. and He did.. He ALWAYS does. Pastor preached about how the people at Antoioch called the believers Christians... how your enemies call you things sometimes that you shouldn't be mad about... and that it shouldn't be THAT hard for others to identify you as a Christian. Message!

Enjoyed the Celebration of Gospel last night. Fantasia can't read, but she's one of my favorite performers. Cute that she sang with her madre. Gospel is one of the few genres left where you have to actually be able to SING and/or play an instrument. Wish we'd have the same standards for our r&B ad especially hip-hop!

Alright, yall. I might write more later. Probably do a video to switch it up. Oh how I love my cam!

Song of the Day:. "Green Eyes" -Erykah Badu.. I went IN on that song last night.

-C

Relationships: What I've learned in the past year.

Hello children, it is rare that I come to the ole dashboard with a purpose. Today I'mma talk about what I've learned in the past year regarding relationships. Now, I say that in my adult life I've never been in a serious relationship. Well, thats unfair to some people. Since last January, I've been in 2 semi-serious 'situations' and am in one right now. [All females.]

Now I do have the tendency to be in 'unofficial' serious relationships. Its the coward in me (and you) that makes me want to have all the benefits and not the actual G word. I haven't been someone's girlfriend since I was 15 and we all know that doesn't count. I don't think I'm good at relationships. But then again, I haven't had a chance to fuck up. LOL... I've dated alot, if you're reading and I've dated you, thanks for the life lesson ;) God loves you, I don't.

Things I've learned.... [in the context of romantic relationships]

-- The first few weeks is not a good indication of how you'll feel about each other. Newness excites us. That's fine. But it won't last. I'll show my true colors, you will to. Maybe resulting in us realizing that we aren't really for each other. Or us realizing that we are and trying to work it out. Either way... Lust and excitement can't be the top 10 reasons, it changes. You get tired. You get used to each other.

--We confuse potentially loving with actually loving. We say the L word to freely and too soon. I always do. I always know who I'm going to love and who I'm not. I've learned to say it when I mean it not when I see it happening eventually.

-- I've learned that if there's a problem, it needs to be brought up while calm. I don't argue. I shut down and ignore. I like to dicuss it, not yell, not scream. I say things I don't mean while riled up.

-- I've learned not to have serious conversations via text messages anymore. What are we 12? Lets talk face to face like grown ups.

-- You should talk wayy more than you fuck. Yall, I was fucking someone for 4 months and I realized I didn't even like her as a person. If I would've stopped (I did..) and realized some shit then I wouldn't have to keep punishing myself for letting her touch me... and it'd be WAYY easier for me to be touched today. It's not.

--I've learned that I'm my number one priority... and It's ALWAYS a problem. I can't see myself putting someone's well-being before my own. (My offspring, of course.. but they not here yet) and I think that women especially want to be a priority when it's frankly not anyone else's job. If I'm not comfortable with something going on, if I feel I'm being disrespected, I can't deal with it... I always feel like people are asking me to be ok with disrespect. My homeboy told me I was keeping bad company. He's probably right. I've learned to set standards for myself and to stick to them.

--I've learned not to sell anyone pipe dreams. I don't do well with monogamy. Especially if I don't think you're worth it. I like to date a lot of people. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. The boy knows I date others, I know he dates others. I don't believe in open-relationships. If I'm with you, I am. If I'm not, I'm not. No grey areas.

--Like Maya Angelou said, if someone shows you themselves? Believe them. We have the tendency to ignore the fact that people let us know EARLY who we are... and in realizing this, we can get out of a situation that we know is STILL not gonna be cool with us next week. Most let you know non-verbally who they are. I say it verbally. "I'm an asshole, I like sleeping, I'm a texter, I'mma flirt"... if any of that's a problem, I don't wanna waste your time.

--I've learned its very important to keep the 'spark' in your relationship. I know I get insecure about who I'm with not feeling me anymore.. or getting bored, ya know? I always make sure I let ya know you're a big deal.. and if you're not doing the same, you get cut from the team ;)

--To me, loving is as natural as breathing. I'm on a mission to find who I'm supposed to love. I've learned not to waste it on prototypes.

--I don't believe in fairytales. Nothing is forever. You're here now. You might not be next year, week or even tomorrow. I'll hurt if you leave (maybe). I'll move on too.

--I've learned not to mess with anyone else's girl. Cause I don't want anyone messing with mines. I haven't always followed that rule. It left me hurt. Cause they'll always go back to who they're originally with. If you think you're a fling? You probably are. I was (twice). 3's a crowd.

--In me being ok with being the third wheel, I've learned that there's some insecurity I have in myself. I'm working on it. In the mean time, everyone will be treated like a #jumpoff.

--I've learned that if I'm not happy with myself, it is impossible to be happy with anyone else. My home girl told me to be in tune with my star player. I've been unhappy and not in tune with this nigga for the past couple of months. Just now getting back into the swing of things.

--I've learned that just because you're older doesn't mean you're wiser or have any more ability to read and respect people. I've dated those my age, and much older. Maturity level isn't consistent with your number of years.

--I've learned that love isn't enough. I love cigarettes, I don't want lung cancer. Circumstances are just as, if not more important.

Alright, this is getting pretty long. Hope I provided someone with some insight. Again, I blog for me. I realize I write because I'm a bit uncomfortable with talking about it. At times, I don't see the point. I usually just don't trust people to take me seriously. I'm tired of hearing 'get over it'. Not always that easy.

This blog is subject to change.. nothing will be taken away, things will be added <3

Song of the Day:. "I used to love someone" Anthony Hamilton

-C

Vlog. Interracial.

Regardless.. I'm fine.

Evening folks. Writing to wind down from this game. I still bleed red. I'm disappointed.

Anywho, I learned a very valuable lesson recently. I just want to share. Its no secret that I love hard. Not often. LOL.. but hard. I invest a lot into my relationships... romantic or otherwise.. and I go through a mourning period of sorts when one ends. I never want to blame anyone ya know? Because if I'm the one feeling some type of way, and you're sleep peacefully at night? its my problem. Even if someone's in the wrong? I don't get too mad, because I've been in the wrong and hurt people in my life myself. I don't get mad. I get done. LOL...

I've learned that regardless of who's in my life? I'm fine.

I get REAL upset when anyone leaves. Even if I KNOW they need to get gone. But now? I've learned not to invest as much in people. They're flakey, I'm flakey. Everyone has a season. I tend to move to fast, get too excited when I meet someone I half-way like. Again, friendships and otherwise...  Resulting in me hurting very bad when the expiration date is up on our relationship.

This entry is inspired because a young lady I've mentioned before basically told me she ain't wanna talk anymore... Now mind you, I don't even LIKE this bitch, liteweight but I was like 'damn'... But I proceeded to delete her off all social networks and outta my fone.. and I'm sitting here feeling all peaceful and shit... Its cause her ass is GONE! And also, I've told the last two people I was involved romantically with that I'd leave their life if I was causing more hurt and confusion if necessary. and trust that shit is hard to say and takes a LOT of maturity.

In the words of India. Arie.. "I prayed for God's will to be done.. the very next day you were gone.."

If you're in my life now? I love you, but if you're gone tomorrow? I won't die. and for the record, thats exactly how I want you to feel about me..

This new year is a good excuse to get new. Oh, and don't get it twisted. HE showed me that I don't need to mourn super long for anyone. Its all in HIS will.. and I delight in it. <3 God IS love. At the end of the day? His love rocks me to sleep. At the beginning of it, His love wakes me up.

Song of the Day:. "Good Mourning" India. Arie

-C

Allow me to reintroduce myself....

Its the first day of they year.. While I was in the club last night, I figured my first entry of the year would be a re-introduction. Why? Not for you. For me.. just to see how I've changed.

My name is Carrie. Sometimes I don't like to be called by my government. I REALLY hate when people make reference to any Keri Hilson song. I love her. But she isn't me, and doesn't spell the shit right. I cuss. I'm trying to quit. Also tryna quit smoking.. but I ain't tryna quit too hard.. lol.  I'm very claustrophobic. A bit judgmental and at times? Very racist... against the whites and no one else. I'm in college. I enjoy it. I also enjoy the romantic company of men and women. I haven't really had a real g/f or b/f in my adult life tho. Hopefully it happens soon.. well, maybe? I'm very opinionated. Only give it when its asked tho. I stereotype people. I'm usually right. I love writing. I love music. I'm not a good listener. The young lady I'm dating now complains super hard when she's talking to me on the fone and I bust out laughin at TV... baby KNOWS I'm not listening. LOL. I tweet and facebook super hard, if you have a problem.. stay the hell off my page ;)

Anywho, I'm very family oriented. Would love to be someone's wife, and someone's mother one day. I don't believe you've been truly loved until you make someone. I want to experience that. BUT by no means can I be domestic. I hate doing laundry, hate cleaning the bathroom. So, I'll need to make enough money to where I can pay someone to. Call me bourgeois. Its true. I don't express my feelings, honestly don't know how. I'm programmed to hide them. I pity and admire those who wear their feelings on their sleeve. I hate to see a lady cry in front of me. I'll do whatever it is to make her stop. When a man cries in front of me? Even worse.. motherly instinct kicks in. I just wanna put his head on my bosom.

It never works [romantically] with a woman unless I persue her. [just an observation of past experiences.. please no1 cuss me out] I just don't know how to act when a woman gets at me.. Its a big turn on tho. I'm a control freak. Women have a problem with that. Too bad. Oh, I enjoy the company of a lot of women at the same time. The lady I'm dating now doesn't play that so I'm working super-hard on not flirting. I'm such a flirt. She is too.

I like to sing and play the piano. I like to lay on my floor and write poetry. I love good conversation. I like to listen and watch someone talk and think. I'm a people watcher, a natural observer. I love clothes. I have a lot, I want more. I like shoes. I love scarves. I'll count how many I have one day. I have affectionate moments, if I kiss you on the forehead, I'm tryna trick your ass... watch out. I love my mother, anyone who talks side-ways to her...? can get cussed real quick without even thinking. I once threatened someone else's 4 year old. My poppa? Don't disrespect him. That's my job... Shout-outs to my Pops.. His dog died last night..

Long live Kiffa!

I love dancing, I don't club much... but when I do, I stay on the dance floor. I love dancing with strangers... I have an unhealthy infatuation with Nicki Minaj. She can rap and if she didn't have a weave, I bet I might actually be attracted. Oh yea, I don't like women with weave, fake nails, tits, or eye lashes. Be you. I like girls with big booties... guys with big arms and nice eye lashes... I'm very random, as indicated by the style of my re-introduction. Hope you enjoyed. Only wrapping it up cause my thumb hurts..

First song of the century:. "Shakin' it for Daddy" -Robin Thicke and Nicki Minaj