Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2009: A synopsis.

Alright, this is probably the last entry of the year because tomorrow I'll be shaking my booty on some unsuspecting young man in the club tomorrow.. Lets get right to it.. Wait.. lemme put on my damn glasses....

In 2009,
I realized that love just isn't enough. In the words of  Jazmine Sullivan "Just 'cause I love you, and you love me it doesn't mean that we'll ever be. "

Oh yea, I started this therapy session known as a blog.

I liteweight came to terms with my sexuality... which is against what I believe in because to me, sexuality is on a continuum. I love men. I love women. Confused? No. Greedy. Yes. LOL....

In doing so, I realized I live in a world that tells me that something as natural as breathing to me is wrong. At times laying next to, loving, kissing and holding a woman is my home. Will I do what the world wants me to do and be unhappy? Or be with who I love and still maybe be unhappy?

I fell in love with a very smart, beautiful, sexy woman who I can't say "No" to.

I realized that she's not that into me.

I learned many things about myself. Silence makes me very anxious. I love music and in 2010, I wanna start playing again. Probably taking my keyboard to school with me <33.. I also realized that if I'm not sexually attracted and liteweight infatuated with someone? I can't get with 'em... no matter how well they treat me.

In 2009, (just saying it again for emphasis)

I dated (and still am with) a white boy. I like him a lot. He's taking me to the Derby!

I realized what I can tolerate and what I can't. I'm learning to be more open with my feelings. Its hard. I still don't know how to say some stuff. But 2009 was the end of me being disrespected without consequences.

My locs turned a year old.. They're growing faster than ever. I freaking love 'em.

I had the worse hangover of my life. Resulting in me blowing chunks in Sonic's drive-thru... Resulting in me being very careful about my drinking habits. I've learned to get loose and not be hungover the next day. I don't enjoy those at all.

I neglected writing creatively .. and I'm paying the consequences. I can't get a poem out to save my life.

I lost 20 pounds.. I told yall I didn't wanna be a DD cup.. I wasn't playing.

I fell in love with Twitter...

Ok.. I'll end on a happy note.. this seems emo..
I can't believe I'm about to tell yall this...

In 2009, I had my first two 3somes. hehehehehehe...

Alright. I might video blog tomorrow on the way to the club with friends. I've always wanted to see myself drunk. I love yall... Keep reading in 2010, I promise, it'll be better!

Songs for the New Year:. "That was Then" Anthony Brown.. "Moving Forward" Hezzy Walker


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