Stir Crazy. [tiny & toya]

I'm really tryna enjoy my summer yall. I really am but I can't live with this same routine everyday... I decided to end the job hunt, I'm only going to be in town for another month so I might as well get my school shit together. I need something to shake things up.. As my brother says, I need something to explode..

So I'mma write in my blog to calm my nerves..

First let me address Tiny and Toya..



For those of you who don't know Tameka "Tiny" Cottle [T.I's wife] and Antonia "Toya" Carter [Lil Wayne's ex-wife] got a show on BET. Now, I'm so tired of people getting fame off a relationship they had. Somebody's child, little sister, cousin, aunt, ex-wife or half-brother always trying to get a reality show or something of the like. Why can't we have our OWN identities?

Not to mention, these two chicken heads and their families are VERY poor representations of black women. I respect their grind and hustle for raising their kids BUT they are both very ghetto and we live in a society where white people's image of black women is reduced to whatever hood-rat BET decides to show any given week.

It makes it ten times harder when black women like myself have to go out in society to prove that we aren't another Tiny and Toya and we actually use the first names that our mother's gave us, we don't have 3 baby's daddys and our claim to fame isn't linked to a man.. but perhaps.. our MIND?

Its frustrating, even with a black president... we still taking steps back. Get it together BET!

Song of the Day:. "Water" Lauryn Hill

-C

Over-heated!

Hey people.

So, I definitely got over-heated today. I went to church today and the young adults had to sing and we decided to wear black with whatever color acessories [bad idea, cause you can't give niggas too many choices] and after church we stood outside talking for I know atleast 20 minutes. So, I get in the car, and I'm fine. Until we get to McDonalds and start sitting for ANOTHER 20 minutes. [SaCURITY!]... A nigga feels real light-headed and nasueous...

So I take off my seatbelt, unbutton my button down [I have on a beater, don't get excited.] And am laying down in the backseat of my mother's VW beetle. It is then I realize how short I really am, because I fit in this little ass back seat comfortably. So, we get to the house and I'm floating..So I kinda panic because I know, I'll passout if I don't get under some cold air soon..

I don't want to scare my mom, at this point she just thinks my medicine is making me nauseous, so I go to my room and get all that damn black off and lay on my bed under the air. Yall, I was sweating bullets. But I promise 5 minutes later the nausea and head-floating were gone. My mom and brother don't know a nigga is bout to passout so they outside watering the flowers and shit...

When my mom comes back in, I tell her that I got over-heated so she makes me lay on her bed because she has a fan, eventually I fall asleep and now I'm here.

The End.

I HATE that feeling, I felt like death was knocking on my door, I must be getting old or something because I've been through band camp, and summers of only working outside with kids, or maybe I just didn't have enough water in my system. Whatever it is, I urge you to please be careful in this heat!

Don't end up like me laying in your mom's bed drinking bottled water!

Song of the Day:. "Growing Pains" DTP

-C

Celebrating the King of Pop.

Hello World.. Its a sad day..

The King of Pop, Michael Joseph Jackson died today. I can't believe it. The fact that he'd die had never crossed my mind. I've never lived in a world where he wasn't a legend. He was already the King when I got here. There's not enough I can say about him. I was a huge fan to say the least.

I remember watching Thriller and thinking, damn... music videos will never be the same and no one will ever live up to him. No matter how many imitators there are (there are alot, yall) no one will ever dance like he did. He was a beast.

It is my hope that Michael's family gets the privacy they deserve.. though in this world it probably won't happen. I'm praying for his parents and his siblings and all the fans that are mourning along with me.



My favorite Michael Jackson video was Smooth Criminal, yall see how he leaned forward? Man.. My brother can do it, but I never could. So many Michael moments over the years...



Song of the Day: "Smooth Criminal"

Artist of the Century:. Michael Joseph Jackson 1959-2009

-C

Pap Smear.

Today, I experienced the worst thing I have ever felt in my Adult Life...

A Pap Smear...

DUN DUN DUN!!

Look, don't get all squemish and prudish like OMG why's she telling us about her va jay jay.. I figure, if you have one, by the time you reach 2 decades you would have had a pap so hell.. why not? This is MY little piece of the World Wide Web.. let me share..

So.. I had to get some perscriptions refilled and made an appointment with MY regular doctor but for some odd reason I got another doctor.. which is another story for another day.. Just know, I pay enough insurance to get the doctor I want.. BUT the doctor I got today was a pretty white boy.. so it worked..

I THOUGHT I had prepared my mind for what was going on... He showed me the instrument that he was going to use... and the swab... explained the procedure.. I liked that... But then he was like 'here it comes'.. yall....

Yall shoulda seen the look on my face and heard the sound I wanted to make! In my mind, I was like 'fuck this shit, i'm officially a lesbian, is he trying to reach my throat?!" Giiirrrllll, I needed someone holding my hand, I was trying to hold it down like a G.... I did... but dayum! It lasted for all of 3 minutes... but I'd rather it woulda been Zero!

When he removed the spatula, I could here my va jay jay breath a sigh of relief!

Alright, my va jay jay deserved an entry of her own...

I'll write about Jon & Kate and Perez's faggot ass later.

Song:. "My President's Black" Young Jeezy

My lambos blue.. I'll be hot damn if my rims ain't to!

-C

Blame it on the...

Well, I started an entry the day before yesterday but you know a nigga gets side-tracked so I deleted that draft and started a new one.. Like to hear it? Here it go!

So, my mom went out of town last night. Yall already know a nigga had 20 of my closests friends over and even more types of my favorite alcohol. LOL.. I was glad to see my new and old friends. I miss the old times, but I love the new ones as well.. Aahh.. Tender.

Question.. You ever meet someone who's just so 'important'? Like.. to the point where they miss out on the good things in life? My good friend that I always seem to be talking about is one of those people. I mean, I invited a LOT of people to my party and he told me that he was going to "stop by" I mean, just the phrase "stop by?" I'm supposedly one of your best friends and you're so important that all you can do is "stop by"... Not cute.. at all!

So, I realized that my last two entries were about the Twitter phenom... totally didn't mean for that to happen, but I'm proud of myself for having some continuancy? is that a word?

Still looking for a job, thought I had the one at Aero but it didn't work out. Still waiting to hear from DSW shoes. Its hard not to get discouraged. But I'mma stay on the grind and not give up.

Well, I'm on my Mary J. Blige.

Song of the Day:. "Be Without You"

-C

a product of the time.

Listening to "Love Poem" by Triple Black.. good stuff.

Anywho, how's everyone doing? Feel like it's been awhile. But it's probably been a couple of days in reality....

So this Twitter thing... Have I discussed it before? If so, I'm about to do it again. Twitter had to be created my light-weight stalkers. I can dig some facebook. Its stalking under the pretense of networking. But Twitter is stalking under the pretense of a cute word and fortunately I see right through it. I jumped on the band-wagon and got one cause I didn't wanna criticize before I experienced but now that I got one.. I feel violated. These RANDOM ass people just start following me outta nowhere. How can you even find me? Someone please enlighten me.

Anyway, ALL you can do on Twitter is say what you're doing. Which quite frankly isn't interesting enough for me to be that concerned. I'm following John Mayer, Keri Hilson, CNN, the NBA, My Mary Kay consultant. and a few friends... and even tho I kinda have their permission, I feel like a stalker... and I don't be knowing what to put in my Twitter window.. like.. 'i'm taking a shit?' who wants to know that? Or... 'I'm boutta smack that shit outta my little brother?' that's not a good representation of our relationship... so that won't work either...

Ya know, this technology era is good. But.. I just realized I had my gmail, facebook, blog, and twitter windows open.. AND I have my cell phone sitting right here. I'm giving people WAYY too much access to me. You could e-mail me, facebook message me, comment on my blog.. twitter me.. text me.. RIGHT now.. and I'd get 'em all RIGHT NOW.. Horrible. I might have to hybernate.. or do you spell that hibernate?

As much as I like to be an individual, I'm always proving that I'm a product of my time.

Well, thats sufficient. I have an interview with Aero today. Pray for me!

Song of the Day: J. Sullivan "One Night Stand"

-C

Death by Text Message.

I've come to a realization... a hard thing for me to admit.. but admitance is necessary for my mental health.. I don't want to say it.. but I gotta put it out there.

My name is Carrie and I text too much.

Hello yall, it is my sincerest hope that this entry finds you at a happy place. Anywho, last night I was just... irritated. I can't explain it really. I just realized that I play therapist to.. well, not everyone. But a good chunk of my friends.. and then when I have a problem? I feel like I have no one to talk to. Cause if you're used to getting therapy all the time, its hard for you to give an encouraging word or to just LISTEN.. so.. I definitely don't tell my problems to those mentioned above... and sometimes not even the ones i'm cool with giving problems to.. I just don't want anyone all up in my shit like that.

Well.. I'm getting off subject..

Anyway, It wasn't like an overload or anything, this one mofo was just the last straw. So.. Around 9pm I decided, that I was turning my phone of atleast until in the morning. [Ended up being till 1pm today] My one friend that I'm always talking about..

the nigga that said 'Kinda' [http://swaggaofacollegekidd.blogspot.com/2009/05/kinda.html]

Anywho, I'm bad at hyperlinks and what not...

Ahh.. its happening again.. Off subject..

Now, I send out a mass text that says "Hey lovers and friends. I'm turning my fone off for the rest of the nite. Ttyl!" So he responds "Do i need to come by... Are you ok?" This nigga acts like I just sent out a text talking about "I'mma slit my wrists" All I said what that I'm turning my phone off. I think the message sounded pretty happy! Not to mention, who invited him to come over? Ugh... AND I'm turning off my phone meaning I don't want to be bothered.. AND earlier that day I TOLD him that I didn't feel like being social when he invited me to the movies.. I mean..

This negro in particular.. I mean, he's just to selfish. He invited me to the movies, like I said before.. I said I don't feel like being social... THEN he invited me to the strip club.. and AGAIN I told him.. I don't feel like being social.. [and especailly around a bunch of naked bitches who gonna be in my face] THEN I tell him I'm turning my phone off.. and he wants to stop by? Nigga what the hell... He's just so self-centered. My feelings just don't fucking matter, I guess. I'm fed up yall...

So yes, I text too much. Because if I didn't respond to said messages, I wouldn't have these problems.

Thank you for allowing me to vent.

Song of the Day:. cause I know I be forgetting.. "Even Me" Howard Gospel Choir's rendition.. Check it out on Youtube..

-C

Tipsy? Drunk? Happy? Love?

Don't know why I'm trying to blog at the moment.. I'm a bit Tipsy. Love my true friends they rock. Shout outs to Eric, he let me and Lane and many other people come to his crib, drink a little and dance as well. He rocks. I've realized I don't mention my friends much in here.. guess I should to that more, cause I love 'em... well, I don't mention the good ones.. I just mention the ones that get on my nerves and I don't use names.. Well, Eric's my boyeeee..

*whew... this is harder than I thot... LOL

I had a very romantic moment with my ex-boyfriend tonight. Kinda makes me wish the ex would turn into a 'next' he told me he loved me, we were in a nice embrace.. plus i was feelin kinda nice cause of the vodka and hyp... [blame it on the a a a a..] He's a good man, it was totally my fault that we ended. I was so immature. Why am I walking down memory road? LOL

I talk bad about love and realtionships.. and what not.. well.. 'least I think I do... but the little taste of love I got tonight was very sweet and refreshing. Like a piece of ice on ya chest on a hot day... ooohhh... i'm using metaphors.. Time for me to lay down.. LOL

Love and relationshiTs are still over-rated.. doesn't mean I don't want somebody for me tho.. ;)

-C

Facebook religion.

Alright, a little better focused today. Last entry, I was watching TV, arguing with my brother, listening to music... Not a good blogging environment. Now, I'm in a dark room with my draws on.. LOL, perfect blogging environment.

Anyhwo, yall know I'm an avid facebooker. I love to network, talk to friends.. yada yada.. but I've been noticing a trend on "the book" thats really not cute to me. Yall, I'm talking about Facebook Religion.

This entry is inspired by a conversation I had with my mother and brother [who both have facebooks].. my mother was talking about how some of our mutual facebook friends have.. um.. how do I say this nicely... conflicting messages...

There are people [who are very close to me I might add] that make their facebook statuses these long religious messages talking about "Jesus is on my mind.. I'm holier than thou Monday-Sunday.. God's in control of my life" and then you go to their pictures and they have they tits out and are in the club with beer in their hand!

Now before you call me a hypocrite [beacuse there's a pic of me on fbook somewhere with a double shot of tequila in my hand.. lol] , the point I'm trying to make is... you look real fake if you have a wonderfully religious Holy status and then less than Holy pictures, or less than Holy wall posts. I never like when people broadcast their relationship with God on the world wide web.

From first hand expeirence, a relationship with God is VERY intimate. There are different levels to his Glory, and its hard as a human to be in line with His will. Psalms 1 says "... They delight in doing everything the LORD wants; day and night they think about His law"

Oh Lord.. Carrie's quoting scripture.. Who woulda thought.. LOL, stay with me...

If you are so Holier than Thou, then you not only follow what God wants you to do.. but you 'delight' in it. It is simply unrealistic for us.. especially young people to be at the point where we delight in His will. This Christian walk is a struggle, and we look very fake if we make sermons out of our facebook statuses.

It is hard to realize that our only judge is God and it really doesn't matter what other people think about you or what you're doing. If you're facebook status isn't keeping it real, you might have some people fooled. But you can't fool Him.

Your facebook status is simply asking 'Whats on your mind?' all you gotta say is "I'm at work, wishing 4 o clock would come"... "I'm bout to beat the hell outta my kid.."... something that happens in REAL life.

I'm not saying don't EVER have any Christ on your facebook because I read statuses and get encouraged... I mean, I can dig when someone's facebook status says "God is good! I didn't cuss my boss out today.." cause that is keeping it all the way 100... I'm just saying... come out of the heaven and down to earth.. because you are still alive, still on earth and still in the FLESH.

In the words of Elder Smith.. "Keep it Real!"

Oh... Song of the Day: "Never love again" Anthony Hamilton

-C