Monday, November 23, 2009

Why I'm not monogamous....

"Maybe I'm just like my father.. too bold.. Maybe I'm just like my mother.. she's never satisfied"

Clearly, this song came out when I was a child for real... but even then I could identify with it. Now, this is the type of song that can mean different shit for different people. For me it means that by some standards, I'm an asshole but it's really just normalcy for me. My friend tells me that I'm 'so extra' and I keep telling her I'm just being myself...

Anywho... I had an interesting conversation with my mother today. She said something along the lines of.. "Date everyone who asks you, but don't have sex..." Cause I was telling her about the guy I been dating, and then this guy I have a BIG crush on told my cousin he was in love with me last night (more on that later) and she basically told me to date him and the other guy too... I told her that I was also dating girls.. and surprisingly she ain't really have a problem with it... she wasn't surprised either..

I think my problem is 'society' (bitches) wants me to fall in love and be monogamous (with my time and energy) and I just can't do it. I want a couple of people to date, and if I'm completely honest, one or two to have sex with as well... for workout (orgasm) purposes only.. lol.

I don't like monogamy because I don't like to be questioned... don't ask me who's calling/texting my fone... when I want space, I don't want to have to justify that... I don't want to be known as "so-and-sos girlfriend" and I don't want you to be known as mine either.. I don't like to be associated with anyone... (ask my people I go to school with who I hang out with? They have no idea, I'm always on the yard alone.. )

I don't like monogamy, because I got played.. and I NEVER want to feel that way again. Thats the REAL reason that anyone doesn't like monogamy. Tell me otherwise and I'll show you a liar ;)

Safe Sex kids, don't give me a heart attack..

Now, the first guy I'm dating is great. He knows I date other people, I know he dates other people.. Hell, we've even all gone out together. Its so natural to me to have 2 or 10 girlfriends and boyfriends. Is that a crime? Ya know, its biological, primates are NOT naturally monogamous creatures. Apes be hittin 2 or 3 on the regular and it works out well for them socially. Read a book.

Laydees, yall know I love you.... and I try not to sell yall any pipe dreams... but why do yall still wanna fall in love with me? I have NEVER been able to casually date a woman. There's always a slew of double standards. Women get mad when I'm not jealous of whoever else they dealing with. I mean... if we're in a committed deal, its a different story.. but if you're not my girlfriend? You're not my girlfriend. I dunno how else to say it. Females I deal with stay jealous... AFTER I've told them that I don't have 'girlfriends' and there's a 90% chance I'm dating someone else. If you don't like that situation, why even get into it? i'm telling you up front because I want to give you a chance to say "Ok, that ain't me.." which is FINE. But don't waste my time..

I like romance, I like affection but I don't like commitment. There's a 90% chance that you ain't the one and I'm just trying to have a good time. I've only thought that one person was 'the one' and she won't even talk to me now... So this ain't unmotivated.

I went to see Precious last night. Monique's performance was GREAT. I shed 2 tears off that, yall. The movie lacked plot and did not leave you happy afterwards... but hey.. went to see it with good people, this is when ole dude told my older, male, psycho cousin that he was in love with me.. I think I had one of those "oh shit" moments in my head... My cousin just nodded and said "She IS love-able.." I was VERY surprised. LOL

Well(p), time fo me to do some more packing. Going home tomorrow to do some cooking, yall ain't ready for my skills! Pow!

Song of the Day:. "The Point of It All" Anthony Hamilton.

-The Kidd!

1 comment:

subspencious said...

I mot sure if i read this blog very well but it don't sound like u have a problem with monogamy as it does sound like u have a problem with fulfillment. To you relationships really just not that fun. Which is understandable because I feel that way sometimes too. Or better yet all the time when i was younger.

You say you want your space. However, I bet if you find that one man or woman who act more like a partner than a sidekick. They be with you 24/7 damn near. You probably wont mind the Monogamy...as much. Perhaps someone joviality (nice word for immature) may be a plus in the right ways.

Till then. Have fun with firends.