Wednesday, March 31, 2010

It's NOT ok to be Fat.

Peace to you, my readers.. Its a beautiful day outside.. My fone says its 78 degrees, and there's not a cloud in the sky.. I got on flip flops, yall.

Anywho, I'mma talk about a little pop culture. We live in a very vain society where white and skinny is put on a pedastal.. Within the last few years.. women like Monique and Queen Latifah have tried to give us a more realistic view of what beauty is.. As a black woman that where's a size 16 pants, and has 38 DD's.. I appreciate it.. BUT.. Shit, I'm really trying to choose my words... Ok, fuck it..

Its not ok to be fat.

I always try to look at things objectively, especially when they directly affect me. I want to jump on this "Phat Girl" bandwagon, but I can't. Not when my cousin just lost his damn foot because of diabetes and my grandmother, God rest her soul.. Lost her whole damn leg.. The thing is, black people struggle with things like diabetes and hypertension, and while some of us will never be a size 6, we don't need to be a size 26, either.

Everyone's skeleton is relatively the same size... Meaning, we're made to carry a certain amount of weight... Put ten blocks of concrete in a car, see if your shocks ain't fucked all the way up.. Carry an extra 50 lbs and wonder why ya ankles hurt.

So, while I respect Monique and hold her at a high regard because as a brown girl with thighs, I could look to her as a role model, I don't think it should give us permission to eat.. NOT TO MENTION, Monique lost a lot of weight herself..

What are yall's thoughts?

#nowplaying:. "Spirit of God" Youthful Praise


Friday, March 26, 2010

Whats a goon to a gobblin?

I know I know.. I been slacking... but you won't miss me if I write err day!

Church, today I'mma talk about hip-hop... more specifically rappers.. MC's... Now everybody's a rapper.. everybody gotta mix tape... for whatever reason I'm always being asked to listen to somebody's shit.. maybe cause i'm honest or a music aficionado.. either way.. I love rap music. I love words and I think they can be manipulated to be beautiful art.. but a beat and 16 bars does NOT make a song.

It just gets old, everyone's always rapping about the same thing, making money, getting pussy, hustlin... thats fine.. But isn't art supposed to be an imitation of life? Everyone's not doing that... I just feel like if you'd rap about day to day stuff people would identify better. I like music that I can dance to in the club, but what about when I'm on my way to a boring ass class ya know? Or something to wind down to after a long day? I can't wind down to the Wacka Flacka... ok.. Naw, I don't even like him and he will never get the honor of being on my iPod.. Ok, so I can't wind down to Wayne.. and I LOVE him.. "We Be Steady Mobbin'" is my SHITTTT!! But it always gets me hype!

The point I'm trying to make is I think that there's a time and place for everything.. and while "My Chick Bad" (Ludacris) is good, we need more Commons and Black Thoughts.. That rap about intellectual stuff or hell, even love. Everything sounds the same to me.

I just feel like we should get past 'getting money', 'whats a goon to a goblin', 'it aint trickin if you got it'... thats just not my reality.. and its fine if it is yours, but I see a lot of rappers rapping about that stuff when they're intellectual asses are in class with me. It all seems real fake to me.

"Man I promise,she so self conscious.... she has no idea what she doing in college... the major that she major in won't make no money.. but she won't drop out... her  parents'll look at her funny.."

Something I can totally relate to..

Whatchall think?

#nowplaying:. "Get Em High" Kanye and Talib


Friday, March 19, 2010

Disrespect. Part 2?

Let me remove the cobwebs...

Hey yall, Its been a while but I just been spring breaking it. I had an epic St. Patty's day. Went over my white boy's crib.. played beer pong, we're undefeated, who wants us?! Wasn't hungover, thought I was going to be. Almost killed myself on a mint on the way over, but I got it together. Thanks to the Cane's fruit punch....

Anywho, lets talk about disrespect for a minute yall.... Now yall know the theme for 2010 is not to let things slide, right? Well, a friend of mine seems to lose my number unless she wants something. Her actions tell me she knows she's wrong but 'sorry' or 'i was wrong' or 'my bad' is not in her vocabulary. So... last week sometime she texts me of course asking for something.. Now church, I had previously texted her twice that week, not important shit.. but I coulda got a 'hi' back... Initially, I wasn't going to respond, but she put a smiley face after the message and it got under my skin for some reason. So, in the nicest way I knew expressed my disdain at her trying to take advantage of all this good friendship I've been offering with no reciprocity.... she (as she always does) dismissed my feelings.

But, my feelings weren't hurt, ya know? I have been asking God to deliver me from any control she had over my emotions and He did. I mean, I put my all too fast into friendships and I always feel hurt and disappointed. I thought she'd be a life long friend but the relief I have now that I could take her or leave her?

I might be about to sound cliche but I always want to help whoever's reading. My view of friendships has really changed since college... People are fickle, flakey, and fake. 97% of the time who you're dealing with is only going to have 15 minutes of spotlight in your life and they need to be treated as such. My problem is that I deal with people until their 27th minute when the expiration date on us was up long ago. I know I'm a good friend... and not everyone needs to be exposed to it.. for my own sanity.

Disrespectful situation #2 and on a lighter note... I didn't mean to preach to yall. LOL..

Men... If you want to chill with a young lady.. Do NOT text her at ten till midnight like its ten till noon and ask her what she's up to. This has happened to me twice this week from the SAME nigga.. I haven't responded to any of his texts and he still hasn't got the hint. Now, there's only so much I'll be up to that close to midnight and if its not sleep, you obviously weren't invited. I don't think men understand how wack they look at these desperate ass bed texts. If you want to chill with a girl, I'm pretty sure the cut off is around 7:45 pm.

Because of my lifestyle, I don't know why my standards of manhood are so traditional... But they are.. and even when I'm romantic with ladies, I hold myself to that same standard... why yall think I gotta harem?! #pow. Just playing ladies...

 Iight, off to enjoy my weekend, I suppose.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Happy Black Girl Day!

As If I don't talk about them enough... Lately I been being mean to yall, but I only talk about you 'cause I worship your footsteps. My twitter sister ('twister'?)  @sistertoldja got this day going.. Check it out here...

I'm going to talk about some black women who have been influential in my life...

First of all, lets talk about my momma.. She raised (who am I kidding? is raising) my brother and I by herself... She is honestly one of my best friends. I talk to her everyday about school and she talks to me everyday about work... She's the biggest influence of my life and taught me a long time ago that I will never need a man or anyone else to validate who I am. She's the reason that I got perms and the reason that I never will put a chemical in my head again. She was the first woman in our family to go natural when I was 8 or 9.. and since I wanted to be just like her, I did too. I'm so thankful she showed me that the kinky thick ass hair that grew outta my head was beautiful. She blessed me with my good looks and my temper ;) Now if only I could convince her to be on my reality TV show...

Under the umbrella of my mother's influence is her older sisters. My aunties!! Those are some special friends for real yall. My aunt has her PhD in social work and raised my cousin (one of the greatest men I know.. who has his masters in engineering) my herself. She's the reason I know I gotta get a degree in SOMETHING. Again, taught me that I don't need a man to be happy and that everything might not necessarily go as planned but life goes on...

Oh black women.. I just get full talking about you.. and I haven't even got to those who aren't related to me yet... 

Some famous black women that have inspired me are... 

Maya Angelou... her poetry brings me to tears.. As a sophomore reading her book "Caged Bird" my life changed. I haven't been the same since. She's coming to my city next month. If I get to see her, I'll faint. LOL

Monique... yes, she's a bit ignant. But looking at her success helps thick black girls like me know that we don't have to be skinny or light to be successful. 

Jill Scott... her lyrics show that you don't have to be trashy to enjoy sex. Half the people don't even know she's talking about getting it from the back in her song "Epiphany"

"Flip side, stomach meets sheets.. and he plows inside as if he's making beats... "

I love black women so much, some times I don't even realize I am one ;)

I'm hungry and I need to clean a bit so I'm wrapping it up.... From your thighs, to your eyes... black women.. I worship you... <3

Song of the Day:. "Epiphany" Jill Scott


Saturday, March 6, 2010

Do I EVER stop talking about women?

Its been awhile since I've blogged. Sorry, loves. Life is busy. Never too busy for you tho...

Things have been happening. Its funny how life works... I will never proclaim to be good at dealing with people, especially in a romantic way, but I will say that I've learned a lot in the past couple of months... about females especially. For one, they'll always try to make you prove yourself to them... which on some level is necessary, because we all do it.. but they'll let you know they don't fucking believe what you say. Also, they'll talk to you about all of their problems if they truly dig you or trust you. Its cute, but stressful at times, cause honestly, I don't always know what the fuck to say.

I'm not sensitive so I know I can't be explicit in my advice or what have you.. and a lotta times they just want ya ear.. Don't even want your opinion, which is fine.. cause I don't enjoy giving it.. at all. I find that my opinion is always.. to take the emotion out of the situation and look at it objectively. But my emotions are broke so... I can't tell a species who's oxygen is emotion to not use it.. lol. *sings* "Tell me how i'm 'posed to breaf with no ayyyaaa!"

I'm talking like I've been dealing with 20+ women.. lol, I haven't. Which is something else I've learned about myself. I won't go as far to say I'm a "one woman man" but I have really decreased the people I'm romantically involved with very recently. Before the start of this year, I was always talking to 2 or 3 people at a time. Still don't see the point of monogamy.. but I feel like I just want to focus on one person, ya know? Maybe I've just found the person who's enuff for me...

I'm just trying to enlighten yall and give yall my perspective... 'cause I know those of us who love women go through a lotta SHIT. I'm not all wise or all knowing.. Its all fluid. I know that I'm a woman and I'm happy and ok with it.. My emotional habits just aren't consistent with those that I deal with... and men, if you weren't so fucking simple, I'd talk about yall more..

Song of the Day:. "Can I Come Over" Aaliyah. <3 #pandora.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A poem.

A poem since I haven't in many moons.. It's called "I have a wall Built up..." All capitalizaions, spellings are correct.. i'm on my e.e Cummings...

The Burden
of this wall around my heart
Stops this new love from
its start.
An apology may be in order
'cause you can't cross this
I've worked to hard on protecting
my love...
Past lovers built this wall
of heartache
with bricks of insecurity
selfishness and disloyalty
I want to be able
to love you, -but
this wall is impossible
to get thru...
So with time maybe
you can climb
and dwell
between the space with me
among the wall and
my heart-beat.


A Waffle.

Alright yall... In the words of my homie.. "I'm not confused, I'm just distraught." I won't boost my ego and assume you a regular reader so I'll brief you on the situation at hand... Basically was talking to this girl, realized I wasn't attracted to her (we'll get to why later), told her that I just wanted to be friends and she didn't respect that. So, I got fed up and do what we do in this decade, deleted her off facebook, blocked her from my tweets and deleted her number outta my fone.. (But I kept her friend's number.. #dontjudge)

Now, she's been calling me every 4 or 5 days which is rare for her and we have these really awkward conversations. Last night, she called and we got into a discussion about women. It all started when I told her that I found myself not being attracted to women much anymore. She went in to how all women basically wore their emotions on their sleeve and were needy. I disagreed because, I'm neither and I'm a woman. Then she said women only suppressed it for me because they thought I was a big deal. I felt frustrated because she blames everything on me and a simple discussion was quickly getting emotional (as it does with women)...

Yall ever heard that women are spaghetti and men are waffles? Well, I musta missed some chemicals because i'm a waffle. [and i'm color blind.. momma, what was you smoking during pregnancy?!?!?] If I'm discussing something even if I'm passionate about it, I'm not going to get emotional because frankly, i'm always right and if its just a discussion, who cares? If it can be discussed its always gonna be debatable!

She got emotional and some how it got to her not getting on twitter anymore because I blocked her.. Yall, she only got on twitter to read my tweets.. and then when I blocked her she never got on anymore, what else am I supposed to think, and then am I not supposed to think I'm a big deal? She got mad 'cause I called her out.. #kanyeshrug.

Of course I turned into the bad guy.. It always goes back to me being heartless and selfish and 'not ready to love her'... which is bullshit because frankly if you're love-able I'm going to love you regardless... I'm not in love with her, and at this point, I'll even go as far to say I don't love her. She just has too many insecurities...

She argued that if you love someone you have no choice but to show it... and I think you always have a choice.. What do yall think? I love my sister, but I don't fuck with her 'cause she's a mooch. Does it mean that I don't love her because I don't fuck with her?

In the words of Tina Turner.. "Whats Love gotta do with it?!"

I don't usually solicit comments, but your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Especially the ladies.. I need a 'spaghetti perspective'.

Song of the Day:. "If I Were You" Tamia


For those who don't know.. Men are waffles because they can separate emotions from everything.. like the squares in a waffle.. and Woman are spaghetti because everything is all mixed.. just like spaghetti..