Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Hey.. Lemme tell yall where my head's at..

An hour or so I go, I'm walking back from an AMAYZNG event (more on that next entry) and its raining. It ain't monsooning, or sprinkling.. just a steady rain. For the sake of this metaphor, the rain symbolizes problems for me right? (Bare with me please.. ) So I'm spiffy, walking to my dorm in the rain and its weird because for whatever reason, I don't feel like I'm getting wet. Like you know how you walk in the rain real fast with your head down till you can get in a dry place? Naw, I was just walking with the same limp I always do.. iPod in my ears and everything.

I felt that I wasn't getting wet because every burden that the rain could put on me was already sitting on my back. In a sense, I walked into the rain and was already (metaphorically) soaking wet. It was weird having that conversation with myself... There's a number of problems I'm feeling that way..

Alotta times, our bodies try to tell us shit and we don't listen. For instance, I've been getting nauseated at diff times of the day, I get physically drained at the easiest of tasks.. like walking to the fucking elevator.. and my nerves have been jumping off the wall.. and my hands are shaking so bad that I can hardly type..  You know what my body's telling me?

"Nigga, sit your ass down somewhere and eat a pineapple."

And either I'll pass out at the worse time and place... Or I'll listen to what my body's telling me. But like Jesse Spano says.. "There's just no time!"

And if it was JUST my body outta wack? It'd be ok, but my mind isn't at ease either. Its this college thang.. All this extra shit I'm doing AND academia? Naw bruh.. I can hear my uncle tellin' me now.. "Buttons, you can't do everything.." Gosh, I hated hearing that shit.. cause it was true.. I'm overwhelmed. I ain't talked to my mom on the fone cause she'll hear it in my voice and be worried.. but damn I miss her. I'mma call her in the morning regardless. Thats my favorite girl....

I'mma just clean my room, set my alarm for something unreasonable and study for this damn exam I have in the morning.


I don't cry..

This is one of those moments I might have to get in the shower and let the tears fall down the drain...

Song of the Day:. "Anxiety" BEP

Hey Heartbreaker <3...

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