Sunday, March 1, 2009

I don't have a plan B. Alternatively Titled: The connection (or lack there of) between love and sex.

*Listening to Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor" I love Lauryn. Her songs always pull at my heart strings and make me think about shit. She's one of the rare singers that actually sing about things that are personal to her. I wish there were more Lauryn's and Mary's.. I need music to cry to.

Anywho, I credit the title of this entry to Dr. Cosby the pastor of Louisville's St. Stephen Church. His sermon was so great. It was touching. It was basically about prayer. He used it from the perspective of being bilingual. Speaking the language of your culture and speaking the language of prayer. Wonderful. I shed a couple of tears. So touching.

So today church, I'll be speaking about love and realtionships. This will probably be like a four part ummm... series if you will.. Number one will be the connection (or lack of) between sex and love, Numbers two, three and four will be Carrie's keys to a successful relationship... I might be exaggerating so don't be disappointed if it turns out to be 2 parts.

Anywho, Let me preface this by saying I don't think I've ever been in love. Since I'm not sure about it, lets just say I haven't. I loved Arielle, but I was 14. So.. puppy-love if you will. I kno I just fucked up my credibility but you here now so you might as well finish reading. I'm simply speaking from what I see in my friend's (and at times my) situations.

If I had to define love, I'd say that it was a very strong positive feeling about someone, the willingless to invest yourself whole-heartedly to this person, the willingless to let them hurt you, and the willingless to sarifice.

If I had to define sex, I'd say it's 1 person using another person to bust a nut.

Now do you see the connection? Cause I sure don't!

I think in a perfect world sex would be the physical way in which we express our love to the object of our affection but this world ain't perfect! Plenty of people are sexing but not many are LOVING. First of all as the poem says (check out my first entry) you can't love with your dick. Now, I've never gotten dicked down (19-year-old virgin entry on another day) but I've had some good sex with some women... No matter how good it was, I never thought to myself "This girl's pussy is so good, I'm falling in love with her." LOL!! see, i couldn't even keep a straight face when I was giving an example. Nor have a been sexing someone and said to myself "I'mma give it to 'em so good, they gonna love me!" It just doesn't work like that...

But let me tell you what has happened.

I've seen the way someone talks to their mother and thought that I could love 'em. I have fallen in love with a smile. I was with a guy once and we were watching Click, I cried like a baby and he was crying to. I could see myself loving that. I've really dug the way someone squeezes my hand when I'm walking away. Eye contact, a kiss on the forehead, or a mix CD full of love songs. That's love shit. Yall know what made Michelle fall in love with Barack? The way he interacted with the people. She fell in love with him when he was working in the Chi and giving a speech to people who needed him. I've been told that I was love-able because of the way children responded to me.

It's all about the PERSON you are. Realness, thats what makes me fall in love, and thats what has made people fall in love with me. I love kids and they love me. They bad as hell but I guess i'm pretty patient with 'em. Because all they are is a little me. They need guidance and understanding. They need to be talked to. That's who Carrie is. At the end of the day, thats what made someone see themselves loving me.. Not my bomb ass bedroom skills ;)

I think if there's a separation between the two, then it'd be eaiser to make a better connection. But the love has to come FIRST. I got to fall in love with you before I can make love to you. I've had sex and looked down and be like 'wow, i really dig this mofo' and the sex is more passionate when the love is a factor so I can see that connection but love and sex don't happen simultaneously. That's where I think people get confused.

What do YOU think? Leave a nigga comment

-C

3 comments:

Jordan "Black Smurf" Rodgers said...

what people dont understand is that sex isnt jus for a nut. sometimes (i repeat SOMETIMES) sex can be used as a way to open up to your significant other. I know because before my first time i was the most timid and shy person around the opposite sex.

i wasnt able to open up and tell how i feel. after that time, ive been comfortable with the ladies. now-a-days (lol) i still struggle with opening up but im not incapable. i can atleast give an idea as to what my hidden feelings are.

but anyway to get back on subject. sex can make two people more comfortable with one another. which could be one reason why people do it on the first few dates. once the first time is out of the way those two people can feel like they can be fully open and give that other person their all. sex is used as a milestone in most relationships.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS NA/GRASSHOPPER...AND I FEEL YOU SIS THATS WHY I'M DEF WAITING I WANT IT TO BE SO PASSIONATE I CANT STAND IT...SO PASSIONATE IM STILL ASTOUNDED BY IT A WEEK LATER! lol...WELL THAT N I MADE A PROMISE TO GOD BUT THE TWO HELPED MOTIVATE EACH OTHER...I TOTALLY AGREE THE LOVE SHOULD COME FIRST...BECAUSE IF THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR LOVE IS THE SEX THEN ITS REALLY NOT YOU LOVING THAT WHOLE PERSON WHOLE HEARTEDLY BUT YOU JUST LOVING TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM...ITS JUST A PHSYCAL LOVE...THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX N MAKING LOVE IS THAT WHEN YOU HAVING SEX THERE IS NO PASSION BUT WHEN YOU MAKING LOVE YOU ARE NOT MAKING LOVE YOU ARE MAKING A STRONGER MORE PASSIONATE LOVE...WORDS OF WISDOM FOR THE DAY!

Organic Meatbag said...

Amen, amen, fuckin' right... I didn't know great sex until I met my Wife...the only woman I ever loved...yes, there is a difference!