Aiight, time to talk about standards some more. We most often here about standards when it comes to relationships but I think they are just as if not more important when it comes to friendships.
I speak in general sometimes... but today I'mma let yall in on a personal experience of mine that happened very recently..
I've mentioned Arielle before. We dated when I was 14. She was 18. That says a lot about her maturity level. My mother forced me to end the relationship. I was mad as hell at her at the time cause I thought I was ''in love'' but I appreciate what my mother made me do. My mother told me she was afraid of me getting hurt. I'm glad she saw it, because I sure didn't. My mom hates Arielle (and her mother) always has.. always will.
Anywho, thats the history of this sordid relationship.
Arielle and I have never really lost contact, despite our mothers wishes... The friendship is pretty good. I believe we stayed such good friends because we never had a physical relationship besides kissing. I haven't had a good relationship with an ex unless the physical was to a minmum. (I don't even speak to whatshername and the physical happened 3 times a day..) Which validates my theory that sex fucks things up even more..
Our friendship took a turn for the worse when I went to college. I'm really not sure why.. I have my theories.. tho.. At first she started talkin about she'd be with me if it wasn't for the distance.. then she started talking about we could never be together... I don't know what her motivation was.. cause I really don't think I ever tried to get at her. I'm a flirt. People misconstrue that a lot. It is true that neither one of us are willing to be in a relationship our mother's don't approve of and we do live in two seperate cities. But It's also true that I'm not attracted to her anymore. She doesn't have much of a personality and she's a horrible conversationalist. I realized a long time ago that she wasn't the one for me....
See recently, she'd get mad when she'd text my phone on a Thursday night and I told her that I was going out... Well... not get mad.. but like.. get an attitude. She'd ask way too many questions.. and I'd be way too honest. I just wanted her to understand that I have a life of my own and I'm not gonna sit around and mope about the likes of her especially when she made it clear that she wasn't interested... (( well, thats what her mouth said... her actions obviously said somethin else )) I always felt like she was tryna keep tabs on me.. and I HATE that shit. I'm lowkey.. half the time my mom doesn't even know that I'm coming home that weekend. I don't want everyone to know where I'm at.. I'm just private like that...
(Its taking me long to get to the standard part.. I'm sorry.. lol)
Then.. she stopped texting. Now, don't get me wrong. She was a great friend while it lasted, I could talk to her about a lot of stuff and not get judged.. But I think she was so open with my problems cause she wanted to know what I was doin and with who... I ain't stupid yall.. she just try to be slick.. lol.. (remind me to tell yall how my mom was tryna be slick..) Yall know what this bitch told me, "I'mma just let you text me first because you always busy.." WHAT?! This ain't one-sided.. I feel if you wanna tell a nigga ''hi'' or ''kiss my ass'', you can send it to me, just like I can send it to you. She must think she's more important than she is.. cause I'm done with the one-sided.. thats exactly what I told her..
So.. Now to the standards part...
I realized that I had to let her go cause she wasn't acting right. We need to hold our friends to standards because I've learned that friendship is VERY valuable and you can't let everyone get in on that. It's an easy way to get hurt and use up all of your energy. I was holdin up my end of the bargin.. Last week was spring break, I texted her tellin her to have a good day.. askin if we could chill.. I didn't get responses.. So I gave up. I'm not finna blow no nigga or bitch up. No one's that important. I even stopped texting my own sister and father cause they don't act right either... So she definitely got gave up on quick. It hurts yall, but in 2009 I chose to eliminate all things especially people that bring more negative energy than positive. I love the hell out of her, but she was bringing the negative energy in mass amounts and I can't deal with it. She's very immature and I pray that she grows up and can be a good friend to someone else in the future. I'm done with her.
My advice to you all on this lovely Monday.. is to think about what your standards are and evaluate your friendships.. Who's holding themselves up to your standards? Who ain't actin right? Who deserves you? Who doesn't?