Saturday, January 2, 2010

Regardless.. I'm fine.

Evening folks. Writing to wind down from this game. I still bleed red. I'm disappointed.

Anywho, I learned a very valuable lesson recently. I just want to share. Its no secret that I love hard. Not often. LOL.. but hard. I invest a lot into my relationships... romantic or otherwise.. and I go through a mourning period of sorts when one ends. I never want to blame anyone ya know? Because if I'm the one feeling some type of way, and you're sleep peacefully at night? its my problem. Even if someone's in the wrong? I don't get too mad, because I've been in the wrong and hurt people in my life myself. I don't get mad. I get done. LOL...

I've learned that regardless of who's in my life? I'm fine.

I get REAL upset when anyone leaves. Even if I KNOW they need to get gone. But now? I've learned not to invest as much in people. They're flakey, I'm flakey. Everyone has a season. I tend to move to fast, get too excited when I meet someone I half-way like. Again, friendships and otherwise...  Resulting in me hurting very bad when the expiration date is up on our relationship.

This entry is inspired because a young lady I've mentioned before basically told me she ain't wanna talk anymore... Now mind you, I don't even LIKE this bitch, liteweight but I was like 'damn'... But I proceeded to delete her off all social networks and outta my fone.. and I'm sitting here feeling all peaceful and shit... Its cause her ass is GONE! And also, I've told the last two people I was involved romantically with that I'd leave their life if I was causing more hurt and confusion if necessary. and trust that shit is hard to say and takes a LOT of maturity.

In the words of India. Arie.. "I prayed for God's will to be done.. the very next day you were gone.."

If you're in my life now? I love you, but if you're gone tomorrow? I won't die. and for the record, thats exactly how I want you to feel about me..

This new year is a good excuse to get new. Oh, and don't get it twisted. HE showed me that I don't need to mourn super long for anyone. Its all in HIS will.. and I delight in it. <3 God IS love. At the end of the day? His love rocks me to sleep. At the beginning of it, His love wakes me up.

Song of the Day:. "Good Mourning" India. Arie


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