Let it be broke...

'Round a year later? I'm starting to realize how important this blog is to me. I'm not good at expressing my feelings and I don't really have the desire to directly, but I recognize that the things you feel need to fall on someone's ears. This blog lets me do that. I have plenty of friends who care, and if I could just sit down and let 'em know that I was super hurt, angry or happy about something, I would. (I do sometimes, but its hard) Also, I want to use my experiences so someone can relate and feel empowered through something we share.. A laugh or two ain't so bad either. They tell me I'm funny.. I don't see it.. 

Speaking of a laugh... There's this TORE UP girl who's been telling people I have a crush on her. Now, we went to highschool-hell together and she ain't pursuing higher education so there's only so much she can do to my good name and reputation while i'm 70 miles up sixty-fo.. But I told yall, #in2010, I wasn't going to let things slide.... 

So my homie texted me yesterday and said she had yapped it to her, and I told her something along the lines of, "Could you please top telling people I have a crush on you? I don't. AT ALL. Please act like you graduated from highschool and don't still attend. Thanks."

Yall, its just frustrating because... This ho is NOT cute... call me shallow if you want, but take a look at everyone male and female I've messed with. *snap* DYMES! Second, she's not smart or funny or any other desirable personality characteristic so who the hell I look like being even a little attracted to her? Two, I'm not eight so I don't have crushes on people, I'm attracted or not concerned.. Puh-lease. I should show yall a pic of this whore.. 

Moving on, I was watching Kingdom Come the other week and LL's character said, "Baby, its broke, let it be broke for awhile. Don't try to fix it"... It stuck with me... At the moment, I'm feeling some type of hurt about a few things.. but.. I feel that dwelling in the hurt is really humbling. I'm learning about who I really am. Honestly? I'm pretty damn strong, i've grown up. Couple of years, hell couple of months ago if I was feeling like I am now? I'd cry till I was dry. But now? It's easier to deal with. He hasn't taken away the pain per se, but He's made it easier to deal with. And its funny cause that's exactly what the sermon was about today. 

He might not move the mountain, but He will give you watcha need to climb it. Climbing the rough side of the mountain isn't so bad, cause if I was climbing a smooth mountain, I'd have nothing to hold on to. MESSAGE! Where do I get this stuff FROM!?

Not that I called someone a whore AND preached to yall in the same entry. Killing two birds with one stone? #dontjudge. 

Music is powerful, yall. This Beyonce track "Poison"?! Yo! There are songs that you hear dem words and have to look around and make sure said artist isn't following you around writing about ya LIFE, yo! Music helps me sit in my sadness without being suicidal... lol. 

Alright, let me wrap this up and get some sleep since I ain't had nern in 24+. Gotta first give thanks for my friends. I had a great weekend (Thursday-Sunday!) with yall. Hooka, Booze, other thangs.. ;) Love yall sooooooo much. 

Sending some special love to two of my friends who feel kinna hurt, "Vogue" and "Cheeks"... Um, not to brag, but I'm one of the best lovers in the world... and you're loved with some warm yummy shit if I got you! In the words of the great, "Don't worry.. bout a thang.. cause every little thing.. is gonna be alright.."

Song of the Day:. "This to Shall Pass" India. Arie

-C