Monday, February 23, 2009

When keeping it real goes wrong..

Listening to Aaliyah's "Come over" I miss her so much. Cried like a baby when she went to Heaven. She was so beautiful... a great singer. So.. different ya kno? She wasn't a carbon-copy. She had an edge to her. *sigh*

So, I was talking to a friend today... actually a young lady I started talking to in December. Lets be honest, I lost interest... fast. She's cool but a little to insecure for me. I need me somebody who looks in the mirror and loves what they see.. inside and out. She just has.. growing to do I guess. I've been with an insecure girl before and she NEEDED me to tell her she was pretty so she'd know she was. To be perfectly honest, thats too big of a responsibility for anybody. I look in the mirror everyday and love what I see. I'm a young, intelligent, confident, black, female college student in America. I'm going against the odds and to put it simply.. I like me. But I'm so digressing right now.

Anywho, back to this girl.. She called herself sort of "asking me for advice" when she was really tryna talk about me. Talking about how she breaks her neck for people and they don't do the same.. told me how when someone isn't giving her the time that she thinks she deserves, she loses interest.. ugh.. this really had me miffed ( i love that word.. ).. I knew that she was definitely talking about me when she said that. First of all, if you have a problem with me.. please keep it all the way 100 and just let me know something I've done has got you feelin salty.. don't tell me in a round about way. We grown, we too old.. keep it real.

Second of all, the thing about that is.. I'mma give you the time I think you deserve, not what YOU think you deserve. I mean.. the nerve of her. Its MY time to give! She ain't my girl and we both know that she's talking to Lord knows how many other people and so am I. (I'm not, but she can think what she wants.. LOL) Not to mention, we have polar opposite schedules. She works at night, I sleep at night. She sleeps during the day, I do this college thang during the day. So.. we always kinda miss each other dig? She always be tryna guilt trip a nigga when I do text and it just frustrates the dickens outta me. I don't text everybody. I don't make an effort with everyone. Why don't she know how priviliged she is that she even gets a "Hello" from me? I don't even call my dad! People are so ungreatful.. I tell ya.

Let me say this. College is very demanding. This is my second semster and I have to work double time just to keep up. I'm workin triple to stay ahead of the game. My education plays second only to my God. I want my degree and I'mma get it! I can't sit around textin a female all day about nothing. A relationship ain't about that.

The idea of a realtionSHIT doesn't appeal to me at this point but if I was in one, whoever I was with would have to be ride or die. I mean, I'm going to be the best girlfriend I can be.. but when I need my space to get my school on, you gonna have to understand that.. Not only understand that but support me. Which brings me to my next point church, Carrie will be single for the rest of her life.

OK, you tired of reading yet?

Karma King coming soon..

Peace & Blessings

-C

1 comment:

Lovely Virgo said...

karma this is your mother...

i fuckin love AALIYAH...omg...the cds were the best & the bomb...i can't explain..u summed it up n least words...

girl i told u stop worryin bout folks...fuck'em...can't worry bout them...it sucks...life goes on...if u gon be single then thats what it is..