Saturday, February 13, 2010

Frustration and Sexuality.

Whats up, yall?

I feel so... different, lately. It might have to do with the fact that I haven't been to therapy this year so I really haven't gotten to talk my feelings out.. but I don't enjoy that and I'm really not sure what I'm holding back. I often find myself saying "I'm so damn frustrated." My mother told me its because I'm involved in too much stuff, something I've heard before. Hers is an opinion I'm very tired of hearing, but I always take seriously. She's right. She told me to take it down a level, and I might just have to do that.

Frankly, I am a part of too many organizations on campus. Too many organizations that aren't really doing SHIT. Call me what you want, I'm a big deal and I'm tired of being apart of stuff that's mediocre. I think thats part of my frustration. I'm passionate about everything I do and I hate to see so much potential going to waste because of egos. I'm sure my ego is bigger, and I get shit done.

I ain't smoked or drank anything since I got back from Dallas.. Operation: detox is about to get failed. I enjoy the finer things in life. Yes... cheap wine is a finer thang to me ;)

Now, between me and you... I find myself not being attracted to women lately.. and being VERY attracted to men... by no means do I think I'm 'turning straight'... but I'm a firm believer that sexuality is on a continuum... It was hard for me to come to this of course because of society... but right now, women just aren't doing it for me...  and thats fine.. I've been praying for less stress in my life, God has his way of answering. I'm listening <3.

tomorrow I might be a lesbian, don't judge me.

Song of the Day:. "Anytime" Brian McKnight.

-C

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