Do I EVER stop talking about women?

Its been awhile since I've blogged. Sorry, loves. Life is busy. Never too busy for you tho...

Things have been happening. Its funny how life works... I will never proclaim to be good at dealing with people, especially in a romantic way, but I will say that I've learned a lot in the past couple of months... about females especially. For one, they'll always try to make you prove yourself to them... which on some level is necessary, because we all do it.. but they'll let you know they don't fucking believe what you say. Also, they'll talk to you about all of their problems if they truly dig you or trust you. Its cute, but stressful at times, cause honestly, I don't always know what the fuck to say.

I'm not sensitive so I know I can't be explicit in my advice or what have you.. and a lotta times they just want ya ear.. Don't even want your opinion, which is fine.. cause I don't enjoy giving it.. at all. I find that my opinion is always.. to take the emotion out of the situation and look at it objectively. But my emotions are broke so... I can't tell a species who's oxygen is emotion to not use it.. lol. *sings* "Tell me how i'm 'posed to breaf with no ayyyaaa!"

I'm talking like I've been dealing with 20+ women.. lol, I haven't. Which is something else I've learned about myself. I won't go as far to say I'm a "one woman man" but I have really decreased the people I'm romantically involved with very recently. Before the start of this year, I was always talking to 2 or 3 people at a time. Still don't see the point of monogamy.. but I feel like I just want to focus on one person, ya know? Maybe I've just found the person who's enuff for me...

I'm just trying to enlighten yall and give yall my perspective... 'cause I know those of us who love women go through a lotta SHIT. I'm not all wise or all knowing.. Its all fluid. I know that I'm a woman and I'm happy and ok with it.. My emotional habits just aren't consistent with those that I deal with... and men, if you weren't so fucking simple, I'd talk about yall more..

Song of the Day:. "Can I Come Over" Aaliyah. <3 #pandora.

-C

A poem.

A poem since I haven't in many moons.. It's called "I have a wall Built up..." All capitalizaions, spellings are correct.. i'm on my e.e Cummings...

The Burden
of this wall around my heart
Stops this new love from
its start.
An apology may be in order
'cause you can't cross this
Boarder.
I've worked to hard on protecting
my love...
Past lovers built this wall
of heartache
with bricks of insecurity
selfishness and disloyalty
I want to be able
to love you, -but
this wall is impossible
to get thru...
So with time maybe
you can climb
and dwell
between the space with me
among the wall and
my heart-beat.

-C

A Waffle.

Alright yall... In the words of my homie.. "I'm not confused, I'm just distraught." I won't boost my ego and assume you a regular reader so I'll brief you on the situation at hand... Basically was talking to this girl, realized I wasn't attracted to her (we'll get to why later), told her that I just wanted to be friends and she didn't respect that. So, I got fed up and do what we do in this decade, deleted her off facebook, blocked her from my tweets and deleted her number outta my fone.. (But I kept her friend's number.. #dontjudge)

Now, she's been calling me every 4 or 5 days which is rare for her and we have these really awkward conversations. Last night, she called and we got into a discussion about women. It all started when I told her that I found myself not being attracted to women much anymore. She went in to how all women basically wore their emotions on their sleeve and were needy. I disagreed because, I'm neither and I'm a woman. Then she said women only suppressed it for me because they thought I was a big deal. I felt frustrated because she blames everything on me and a simple discussion was quickly getting emotional (as it does with women)...

Yall ever heard that women are spaghetti and men are waffles? Well, I musta missed some chemicals because i'm a waffle. [and i'm color blind.. momma, what was you smoking during pregnancy?!?!?] If I'm discussing something even if I'm passionate about it, I'm not going to get emotional because frankly, i'm always right and if its just a discussion, who cares? If it can be discussed its always gonna be debatable!

She got emotional and some how it got to her not getting on twitter anymore because I blocked her.. Yall, she only got on twitter to read my tweets.. and then when I blocked her she never got on anymore, what else am I supposed to think, and then am I not supposed to think I'm a big deal? She got mad 'cause I called her out.. #kanyeshrug.

Of course I turned into the bad guy.. It always goes back to me being heartless and selfish and 'not ready to love her'... which is bullshit because frankly if you're love-able I'm going to love you regardless... I'm not in love with her, and at this point, I'll even go as far to say I don't love her. She just has too many insecurities...

She argued that if you love someone you have no choice but to show it... and I think you always have a choice.. What do yall think? I love my sister, but I don't fuck with her 'cause she's a mooch. Does it mean that I don't love her because I don't fuck with her?

In the words of Tina Turner.. "Whats Love gotta do with it?!"

I don't usually solicit comments, but your thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Especially the ladies.. I need a 'spaghetti perspective'.

Song of the Day:. "If I Were You" Tamia

-C



For those who don't know.. Men are waffles because they can separate emotions from everything.. like the squares in a waffle.. and Woman are spaghetti because everything is all mixed.. just like spaghetti..